


Pairs of Five

by chucks_prophet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel To The Rescue, Christmas, Coping, Cute Dean, Dean Coping, Dean Winchester v.s. Feelings, Dean is a Sweetheart, Depressed Dean, Domestic, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Sex, John Winchester Feels, Lists, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mary Winchester Feels, Parent Feels Really, References to Canon, Sex, Some Humor, Winchester Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 08:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12790845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chucks_prophet/pseuds/chucks_prophet
Summary: Cas calls it his checklist. After a bad breakup, he decided to draw up a list of things he wanted from a guy.If it were up to him, that list would’ve just been a list. He would've given up on love after Inias.But Dean wouldn't let him.





	Pairs of Five

**Author's Note:**

> This one honestly came from a very real place for me. Something happened recently that has me trying to reaffirm who I am and the role I play in my life and others', the way that Cas sort of does in this work. Hopefully that raw emotion reflects in this.
> 
>  
> 
> ((Also sorry about the wonky spacing, I made the mistake of starting this on a Mac and finishing it on a PC))

Before Cas started dating someone again, he made a list.

 

  1. He has to be nice—and not just coming from his mouth. Nice coming from his actions.
  2. He has to make the time. Stand-by is not an option.
  3. He has to _give_ you time when you need it.
  4. He has to love you without condition. (Unless he's helping you shower.)
  5. If he has all these things, and your heart so happens to agree with his, he's probably the one.



  
Cas calls it his checklist. After a bad breakup, he decided to draw up a list of things he wanted from a guy.

 

If it were up to him, that list would’ve just been a list. He would've given up on love after Inias.

  
But Dean wouldn't let him.

  
Dean Winchester, with his smolder and bravado and all that fucking swagger packed into those denim bowlegs as he sauntered up to Cas that fateful day at his register. Beef jerky and a pack of Menthols. Cas will never forget that purchase because it never made it to bagging. It did, however, make it to the back room of the Gas-N-Sip.

 

That's how Cas came to learn, along with being great with his lips, Dean also makes a surprisingly great boyfriend. (Surprising, considering they literally met in a classic pit stop kind of way.)

 

He tells Cas, sometimes unintentionally, how beautiful he is every morning as well as before, after, and during sex. He comes home with various scrap metals from the shop because he knows Cas likes to shape them into figurines of sorts.

 

He'll clock out early every couple weeks or so, at the risk of his job (even though Bobby is pretty chill), to treat Cas to dinner—even if it means, some weeks, he’s subjected to Cas’s ranting about his training at the academy.

 

He lets Cas sit for hours watching reruns of _Friends_ after Cas has a bad day, or, for whatever reason sometimes, just isn't feeling it. (Dean will even sit next to him for hours without a word.)

  
And, above all else, he brags. He brags to friends, family, neighbors, the bagger at the local grocery store—anyone who has at least one working ear—how amazing it is to be titled Cas’s boyfriend. Dean, who, Cas came to learn, came out as bi just a month before he waltzed into the Gas-N-Sip.

(That's another thing Cas would’ve added to his list, had he known men like Dean existed: He has to be someone who inspires you to be a better person.)

  
Still, Cas isn’t the only one in the relationship entitled to breaking down. Like the cars he works underneath, Dean isn’t exempt from every day human emotion. He’s just better at concealing them.

 

This is especially true around the holidays. Cas has been through Mother and Father’s Day twice with Dean. Cas only wishes he _knew_ his mom, and that his dad wasn’t cradling his _One Ring_ shot glass in B.G.’s Canteen, if to just make it up to Dean. Cas doesn’t know much about Dean’s parents, but knows they were decent enough people to be missed.

 

Christmas is even worse. Dean doesn’t even try to hide his melancholy. To prevent last year’s old habits, Cas makes another five-point list of what Dean does so that way Cas can help him cope better this year.

 

  1. On the twentieth, Dean will sit in their room, parked against the side of the bed, reading a book about Greek mythology that’s the size of _every_ book Cas has ever read. It doesn’t seem like a bad coping mechanism, but when Dean’s been reading the same two pages for hours on end... that’s when Cas starts to worry. He’ll drop off dinner only to find breakfast and lunch practically untouched on his nightstand.



 

Instead, this year, Cas offers him another book to read. He knows Dean is a closeted _Moondoor_ fan, so he buys the whole series and gives it to Dean as an early Christmas present. “I figured you’d got bored reading about the hundredth time Zeus shook his baby maker.”

 

Dean doesn’t so much as scoff or crack a smile. He doesn’t even move to accept the books. He just stares up at Cas and asks in the smallest voice, “Can you read them to me?”

 

Cas does. He even manages to get Dean to eat, thanks to the styles of Charlie Bradbury, author of the _Moondoor_ series, and the way she describes a turkey leg.

 

  1. On the twenty-first, he’ll eat. A lot. And not just making up for what he didn’t eat the previous day, he’ll gorge himself until he’s sick and then some.



 

Cas uses this as his opportunity to grocery shop. He replaces everything in the fridge—and he means _everything_ —with greens. That way, if Dean is going to binge-eat, he won’t be making himself _as_ sick as when he throws down leftover pizza and lasagna from five days ago.

 

But he also knows how much Dean hates eating his fruits and veggies, so there’s no surprise when he sees him open the fridge and close it a few minutes later with a half-hearted grunt: “I’m actually kind of impressed,” he remarks, “did you rob a Farmer’s Market? Or raid Sam’s house?”

 

(Cas takes Dean’s sarcasm as the second win for Dean’s health.)

 

  1. On the twenty-second, after he’s over his food hangover, Dean will try to jump back into work. Since Bobby gives his mechanics the week off for the holidays, Dean will call everyone and their mother asking if their car needs fixing. Of course, most people are visiting family, so Dean ends up fixing his own car and breaking something that didn’t need fixing.



 

Again, Cas offers a substitute: his car. It’s a ’78 Continental Mark V loaned to him by his grandfather, so if anything, if it _doesn’t_ clunk when he pulls out of the driveway, he’s got a problem. They usually carpool anyway, Dean dropping Cas off at the police station before heading just two miles north to the shop, so if Dean breaks something, it’s not an automatic buy.

 

Turns out, Cas actually has sticky valves. Cas nods, even though he barely knows what valves are until Dean shows him—and even then, with Dean bent over his hood in jean shorts, Cas isn’t exactly concerned about the valves.

 

That day’s a win for everyone.

 

  1. On the twenty-third, Dean digs. Like, _literally_ digs holes in their backyard. He’s lucky he’s longtime friends with Cain or their lawn would look like the aftermath of a warzone.



 

Since Dean isn’t as sick from the previous day, he’s able to dig with a lot more gusto. Little does he know Cas went out there last night while Dean was sleeping and dug a hole of his own, so needless to say, when Dean hits something with his shovel, he’s thrown for a loop. Cas watches from the screen door as Dean wipes the sweat from his forehead and holds the crinkled object in his hands.

 

That’s when the smallest smile finds his lips as he meets Cas’s eyes through the door. Cas opens it in time to hear Dean yelling, “I don’t remember buying condoms that day!”

 

Cas shrugs, though can’t hide the smile on his own face. “My mistake!”

 

  1. On the twenty-fourth, well, let’s just say, this day hurts the most for _Cas._



However, he changes nothing about it except holding Dean a little tighter after each round of sex—whispers more than once how beautiful _he_ is through it all.

 

After the fifth time Dean collapses onto him, though, he wastes no time shucking the sheets off and moving towards the window. Cas waits a moment before following him. Dean may be looking out into the distance, but he’s coming to a rare point when he’s actually coming back to Cas. He doesn’t want to push him away again.

 

"Christmas, um... it doesn't agree with me,” he says after a moment, choking back what sounds like a well of tears in his throat. “The Christ part of it's what does it for me. Mom, she uh...” Dean scoffs, “She used to tell me angels were watching over me. She believed in angels the way you believe in breathing. You know, you aren't always conscious of it, but there's no doubting the proof because you're still alive.

“But then Dad died in that car accident. And I... I kept wondering why. Why not save him? Why save the guy who caused the crash in the first place? If angels were real—if _any_ divine power's real—they wouldn't have let him die. Not like that. And they wouldn't let me suffer the consequence.” A pause. “And as weird as it sounds, I thought the cancer scare was gonna be my big moment—my faith in a higher power would be restored because someone upstairs would finally see that I was the one they wanted, not him. So when the tests came back negative... I lost myself. Then I had a _real_ health scare.

“And when Mom died...." Dean drifts off, pinching the bridge of his nose as he turns to face Cas. "Sorry, I'm... you know what: You celebrate tomorrow, okay? I won't get in the way anymore. If you're happy, I'm happy."

  
"Dean—"

  
"It's okay, Cas, really. I could use a break from hearing the chopsticks on Mariah Carey's one-note wonder," he laughs with the same moisture in a powdered donut.

  
Cas wants to say so many things, but as usual, he can't find it in him to argue with those fir green eyes that, not too long ago, shown like a newly blown glass ornament. "Okay," he says instead. "You're gonna have to help me into my ugly sweater though for the party tomorrow night."

  
"That one with the two Rudolph’s and the light up nipples?"

 

“Dean!” Cas scoffs, hands flying to his hips in mock-surprise, “You _like_ that thing?!”

 

“I like a lot of weird things,” Dean says, stepping closer. “Including my weird, dorky little boyfriend.”

 

Cas’s smile drips from his face as he looks at Dean again. Even if his eyes aren’t at full shine, some of the color’s returned to his face, illuminating his freckles like LED lights on a Christmas tree, so Cas will take it. “I missed you.”

 

Dean nods. For a moment, that’s all he does before he swallows thickly and says, “I missed me too.”

 

They rush forward at the same time, slamming into each other like waves against the current.

 

They don’t leave their bed the rest of the day.

 

 

 

**Christmas Day**

The next morning, Cas is, to his pleasant surprise, stirred awake by Dean’s lips—at least that’s where it starts. The more he stalls, the lower Dean travels, so Cas rolls over when he feels Dean’s warm breath tickle his pectoral because once Dean gets lower than that, Cas is done for. “Mmm, ‘m awake,” he affirms, holding his hands out—though, he can’t help but smile once his eyes adjust to the man hovering above him. Dean’s grinning like an idiot. “What?” Cas laughs.

 

“Nothing,” Dean shrugs. “I’m just happy to see you.”

 

“Mm, yeah, I can feel that.”

 

Dean blushes, making his messy caramel hair look orange in the process, before swooping down to kiss him again, but doesn’t make the attempt to rut against him. Cas kisses him back leisurely, and for a few minutes, they just kiss.

 

The first to pull away, Dean says, “I got you something.”

 

Cas smiles, though can’t keep the surprise out of his raspy voice. “Oh?”

 

Dean nods, leaning over Cas to pluck something from the dresser, then handing it to him with apples in his cheeks. They bought each other gifts last Christmas. Dean just wasn’t this excited. So naturally, Cas is hesitant taking it from Dean—not because he’s scared of what it is, but because he wants to soak in this moment: Dean on top of him, beaming like the kid he deserves to be on Christmas Day and red as the Rudolph’s on his sweater. Even his eyes are sparkling again.

 

Even more out of character is the “wrap” the gifts are in. Cas knows all too well from the yellow sun logo over the bold white text. “The Gas-N-Sip?” he scoffs, looking back up at Dean, whose glee hasn’t faded. Cas shakes his head with a small laugh as he plunges inside the plastic bag. “Oh my God,” he breathes, holding them out for Dean to see, “beef jerky and a pack of Menthols… but why are the Menthols pre-opened?”

Dean shrugs with a shit-eating smirk that tells Cas he has to find out, so Cas opens the top with his thumb and immediately upon looking inside, his breath catches—ironically, the way it should around what _should_ be inside a Menthols box, except there’s nothing in there.

 

Nothing except a ring.

 

“What… what happened to the condoms?” Cas asks weakly.

 

“I didn’t know if you’d say yes.” Dean winks and then Cas can visibly see Dean’s own breath catch in his throat the way his Adam’s Apple rises and stops midway in his throat. He licks his lips so some air can escape when he asks, “So is that a yes?”

 

Cas’s eyes start to water, but luckily, tears don’t spill over until after he nods an enthusiastic, “Of course I’ll marry you, you fucking asshole!”

 

Dean laughs and surges forward to kiss his heavy tears one by one before kissing his lips again. And instead of breathing those three small but effective words, Dean says thank you. He says this five or six times, punctuating it each time with another kiss. To anyone else, it may seem strange, but Cas knows what he means. He even manages, through tears, to repeat the same words back to Dean.

 

After a few minutes of them just holding each other, a laugh bubbles in Cas’s chest, defusing the last of his tears, “Well _my_ gift looks pretty lame now…”

 

Dean lifts his head, but allows Cas to guide him off the bed. Cas catches him grinning again when the cool silver band presses against the back of Dean’s double-blistered palms.

 

“It’s not a lot, but…” Cas flips the light to the garage and moves to his work bench. He lifts the tarp to reveal what’s underneath, and is instantly met by resounding silence. Usually, he can gauge Dean’s reaction, but this one’s nebulous. It’s almost like he’s feeling _too_ much at once to respond. Cas tries (and fails) not to look too much into it as he turns away, scratching his neck, “Um, yeah, like I said…”

 

A single puff of air escapes Dean. Cas whips his head to him again and sees his lip quivering. He tries to speak, but it comes out strangled, “You… you made… out of scrap metal?”

 

Cas nods carefully, turning back to looking at the object. “I don’t know… I figured… I don’t know. I was up late after yesterday too, and I was thinking about what you said, how your mom told you angels were watching over you so I… it’s hard to tell, but these are the wings coming out. I used valves. Or… at least I think I—”

 

Cas’s science fair speech is drowned out by the tools on the shelf behind him rattling when Dean pushes him into it. Gasoline drips from Dean’s eyes, igniting the fire as Cas pushes back into Dean’s kiss with a slow but scorching lick into his mouth—finally properly telling Dean after five long, hard days just how hot his heart burns for him.

 

“You know what?” Dean says against his lips, “Mom was right. I do have an angel watching over me.”


End file.
